The Time Has Come (Almost)

Well folks, I am breaking the long silence to bring you this news bulletin.  It has come to my attention that my wife's pregnancy is due to expire before the milk in our fridge and that has made me somewhat reflective.

I start to ask myself things like, are we ready? Are we going to be good parents? And most importantly, how soon can we feed him bacon?  From what I can tell, you can't really give them bacon before they are on solid food.  This means waiting something like 6 months or more.  I simply can't wait that long to introduce my boy to the wonderful world of bacon (WWB).  There must be a huge market for liquified bacon products and if engineering doesn't pan out I think I know where I will be focusing my efforts. 

The good news is that Heinz has been making headway in this field of study:

If you can read the very bottom of this advertisement you will see that "toddlers take readily to new Heinz junior macaroni, tomatos, beef and BACON".  Thank you Heinz.  You saw right through the warnings of the medical community to the greater good: "Bacon for all, young and old".  I salute you.

In all serious though, I am finding that becoming a parent brings great new responsibilities and rewards that are not to be taken lightly.  For example we must not abuse the privilege of parking in the "new and expectant mothers" parking stalls that you see everywhere these days.  If there is a spot closer to the door than this one we will gladly leave the new mother stall open. 

Furthermore, the single most important step one can take in preparing for a new child is to obtain a baby on board sign and affix it properly to your rear window. Singing the song "Baby on Board" by the B-Sharps with your window open is also recommended, weather permitting of course.

That's all for this installment.  Stay tuned for my next blog posts entitled "what life is like in the year 2010" and "How to avoid posting regularly to the BBC Connection". 

NHL Second Round Playoff Picks

Yes it's true.  I am still staying away from making a post of "substance" if that's what you want to call one of my regular entries.  So here are my picks for the second round of NHL playoffs.  If the last round is any indication of the quality of my picks then you should ignore my western conference picks and go to Vegas with my eastern conference ones.  Anyway, here goes:

Western Conference:
San Jose over Detroit in 6
Anaheim over Vancouver in 7

Eastern Conference:
Buffalo over New York in 5
New Jersey over Ottawa in 7

NHL First Round Playoff Picks

The Knack - Do YOU Have It?

Scandal in the Bestmanship!

I figured I had better write this entry soon since tomorrow Leah and I will have been married for 5 months and after that time it is no longer acceptable to talk about the wedding in any kind of context unless someone else brings it up.  Even now I am pushing it a little bit.

So without further adieu, I present to you the stunning evidence to show that Ryan Kurbis intended to halt this wedding before and after it began. 

It all starts here, at BBC in the waning moments before the ceremony.  I stand awkwardly contented in my ignorance of the events soon to take place.  With a fools grin I trust those men you see beside me and think nothing of the evil intent.  Just look at Ryan's face.  Oh yes! He is planning something.  Something scandalicious (to quote the man himself).  Sure, Dan looks guilty too.  I mean, we have all thought about stopping a wedding and stealing the bride, but like Dan, we must restrain ourselves.  It's just common courtesy.

His first attempt came soon after the above photo was taken.  The ring bearer comes down the aisle and Ryan can see his chance.  Like taking candy from a baby! He snatches the rings for himself as you can clearly see in this second photo (exhibit B). Yoink!

Fortunately Ryan was subdued and restrained by Sco-Mar and Dan and the ceremony continued. We loosed Ryan's restraints once the ceremony was over.  It's too late to stop things now right? Well sure, that's what anyone of sound mind and even a shred of human decency would think.  Anyway, Ryan made his next attempt at picture time.  I believe the photo evidence speaks for itself.

What kind of a man attempts such brazen crimes when he knows he is being constantly photographed?  The desperation did not stop there.  At the reception when the glasses were tinkling with the anticipation of a kiss from the bride and groom, Ryan shoves the groom out of the way with his powerful right arm so Leah's kiss lands on his cheek! Yes... errrmm, that is the only logical explanation for this photo.

So to conclude this troubling issue I must comment that it is indeed disturbing the depths Ryan will sink to in order to halt a wedding.  The motive for these actions is quite obvious.  Ryan is jealous of my mad Mario Kart skills. 

Now you know the facts with absolutely no bias or photoshopping.  I leave the verdict in the hands of you, oh faithful BBC Connection. 

Mike

Disclaimer: This post contains nothing that resembles fact except possibly for my mad Mario Kart skills.  Ryan Kurbis is not only a great an upstanding man but also has a sense of humor and thus will not likely file some sort of lawsuit for slander.  Furthermore, he is busy today and does not likely have the time to rebut these "facts".  Ryan is of sound mind and has more than a shred of human decency.  The powerfulness of his right arm is yet to be determined but should be assumed deadly. Ryan usually schools me when we play Mario Kart.  One thing is clear: Ryan is not a communist.  He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!